Building the Capacity of Trustworthiness

The sickness of our times is doubt - in self and others.

The medicine is to build your trustworthiness.

If there was ever a time to forge authentic, intimate and deep connections with people in your community, now is that time. If there was ever a moment to create alliances with the more-than-human world, it is this one. If there was ever a season to look at what makes your heart heavy, to what you chronically take personally, and to heal some projections or shadows with people, energies or patterns that activate you, it is now - in this late summer season.

This is beginning of the Earth element season in Chinese medicine, late summer in the Hudson Valley, the capacity for healthy digestion and assimilation of not only the food you eat but the information and energies you allow into the kingdom of your body. Don't ignore the jealousy or envy others might be stirring up for you. Check into how the judgments, yours or others, steals your happiness and inner peace. If you're looking for community and deeper friendships, be that steady, grounded, generous, open and curious person first.

This is the time to stir the cauldron of your life and tend to what's there.

Many years ago now, I attended a community building workshop in Maui, Hawaii. We were 45 participants and we established a few simple rules for our 10 days together. The two that had the most impact on me were the following

1) Reserve the right to make outrageous requests

2) Honor the right to say no.

These two seemingly very simple guidelines create an incredible amount of spaciousness in community and conversation. How many times have you not asked for what you want or need because you've been afraid that 1) you can't have it or 2) you'll be judged for asking 3) this will cast you as a demanding impossible person. I can say yes to all three of those.

When we make an agreement to welcome what we might think of as an outrageous request, then there is no fear any of those 3 options, and guess what - your outrageous request might even get a YES. In fact, what I think is outrageous might in fact be exactly the thing that is needed for everyone. And in fact, what I think is outrageous may be actually very easeful for you, might even make you happy to grant.

Of course acknowledging and welcoming that everyone, as a consenting adult, has the right to say no allows for easefulness in the outrageous request. If I know that you feel totally comfortable saying no, and I've already agreed that I'm ok with it, then we really expand the boundaries of our comfort zone. We can really go places in co-creating!

Could these two guidelines support you in a much needed conversation with someone in your life? Could it help your next board meeting or community gathering? How can you take this Earth season and really expand in the fullness and trust in yourself and in your relationships?

Everything is a relationship. How you relate to life, to your environment around you, with other humans and also with plants, trees, animals, the wind, fire, water, the material and spiritual worlds. The ecosystem of your life is made up of relationships, the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the house you live in -- our whole life composed of the efforts and work of others - the ones we know and the ones we don't know.

We are not the separate, hyper-individuated selves we sometimes think we are. Each of us is a part of something much greater - and it all comes from the Earth. Shifting certain relationship patterns is always possible. Welcoming in new skills and capabilities is always possible. This is an auspicious month to do this, where the energies of nature are supporting you. Give it a try!

Ultimately, it's also a good time to check in with your relationship with yourself. How do you talk to yourself? How do you judge yourself? How do you love and tend yourself? How do you honor your word? If your relationship with yourself needs to include more kindness and trustworthiness, this is the season to begin.

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Thank you!

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