In my early twenties, our family went through a breakup.
My grandmother, my mother's mother, had recently passed. My mother, in her grief, realized she was unhappy in marriage and unhappy in this country. It had been years of longing and working for a change and with her mother's death, she finally felt free. She wanted to be back in her homeland of Chile. After 35 years of marriage and three children, it was time for her to go.
It was a big move, a courageous move, but at the time I didn't see that.
I saw my mother placing her happiness before mine. I heard the death knell of our relationship. And because I was not yet out of college, I felt the ache of abandonment.
Fortunately, I had my siblings. There were a couple of months before my mother was able to leave and during that time, I gathered with my sister and brother so that we could talk over the future and make some plans. By the end of that weekend, we'd decided to give our mama our blessing to go. It was a sensible decision as much as an emotional one, and somehow the fact that we'd made this decision together helped me feel stronger. It felt good to sit with my mother before her departure, hug her and say 'Go'. With all my willingness and all my heart.
~ Medicine for the Heart ~
Give them your blessing. Set them free. Open the back door of your heart and release whatever is in there. Pain, doubt, fear. Shame. Make space in there. Clear out those sacred chambers. Clear out your inner kingdom. Become willing to move forward. Don't let your resentments plague you any more. Stop hurting yourself with your own memories. You've done enough of that. Leave your pain behind. You've had enough of that. Pave your own way towards happy, joyous and free. Give them your blessing. Hug them. And then say 'Go'.